give the people what they want



article menu

featured article
about us moodraiser blog

contact us

YOU CAN BENEFIT from the cooperation and goodwill of the people you work with — their cooperation and goodwill helps you do your work, and makes working more enjoyable. But how can you gain cooperation from people? Simple: Help them whenever it doesn't interfere with your job. When you help another person, it practically compels them to return the favor.

But in some jobs, there's not much you can do for each other. There is, however, something you can give to every person you work with and it's something they want — something that genuinely helps them and will make them want to help you. It creates a spirit of cooperation in them.

What can you give them? A feeling of importance. It's easy to do, it doesn't cost anything, and it makes the person feel good. It gives them something they want very much, something they don't get enough of. And it makes you feel good too. No one loses, everyone gains. Where else can you get a deal like that?

Now the question is, how can you make someone feel important without being phony? Being phony is uncomfortable and akin to lying, so for this to be any good, it has to be honest. Here are some things you can do that fit this criteria:

1. Use a person's name when you're talking to them. This gives them a subtle feeling of importance. And look them in the eyes.

2. A smile is always a gift — it says a lot and is easy to do.

3. Tell them things you like about them: Point out character traits you appreciate, talk about the quality of work they do. Make known what you respect about them.

What do they do that's genuinely important to you? It doesn't have to be something big. Think small. Look for little things and say them. Don't exaggerate. Just express your appreciation sincerely. But be subtle and low-key. Don't make them feel uncomfortable.

And guess what will happen? They will start to treat you differently. They'll like you more, they'll find more things about you they appreciate, and they'll have a stronger desire to help you.

These are small efforts. But they'll change the atmosphere in which you spend so much of your time. It makes your world a happier, more cooperative place. And you're not taking goodwill from people — they'll give it to you freely, because you did something to help them. You gave them something they want: A feeling of importance.

Author: Adam Khan
author of the books, Self-Help Stuff That Works and Antivirus For Your Mind
and creator of the blog:
Articles and Interviews
Learn about sustaining motivation, improving relationships, relieving depression, improving your health, reducing anxiety, becoming more optimistic, enjoying a better mood more often, earning more money, expanding your creativity, making better decisions, resolving conflicts, and much more.

Self-Help Menu
Want to learn to enjoy your relationships with people more? Do better at work? Feel good more often? Have a better attitude? Use the self-help menu.

Facebook and Twitter
We post on Facebook and Twitter a few times a week, focusing on helping you feel good more often.

Search For Anything On YMW
Type in any topic and find all the material on YouMe Works on that topic. You can also browse topics on this page.

Subscribe to Moodraiser
Get articles delivered to your email inbox free. Learn simple methods for lifting your general feeling of well-being right away, and improving your mood over time.



Explore This Site | Immediate Relief | Bite Size | Home | Contact
Copyright © 2001-2099 -
YouMe Works Publications - All rights reserved.