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1. Decide what to change. Narrow
it down. For example, do not decide something like this: "I
want to change the way I interact with people." It's too
general. It is more difficult to change something general than
it is to change something specific. Many times people fail to
make a change only because they haven't been specific enough
about what they were trying to change. So if you want to change
the way you interact, get down to specifics. What do you want
to change about the way you interact? Do you want to give more
acknowledgments? Do you want to pay more attention when people
are talking? Do you want to express more feeling when you talk?
Be specific.
2. Make a slogan. Think about what
you need to change and what's the best way to change it, and
encapsulate that into a short sentence. Play with the words until
the sentence is easy to say and remember.
But don't repeat anything untrue. Please
pay attention to this. It's important. If you say, "I am
slim and trim" when you weigh five hundred pounds, it may
get you to think you're slim and trim when you're not. Anorexics
believe they're fat, even when they are so skinny they're barely
alive. They look in the mirror and see a fat person. They frequently
think the thought, "I'm a fat slob" or something close
to that, and they have convinced themselves it's true when it
isn't.
If you want to lose weight, you don't want
to merely think you've lost weight. You want to physically
and in reality lose weight. So you'll have to do something physical.
Instead of repeating a statement of "fact," repeat
commands or rules of behavior: Exercise five days a week.
Seven servings of veggies a day.
When you design a slogan, make it practical.
Ask yourself, "Will it be good for me to believe this?"
or "Will it direct me to useful action?"
3. Repeat it. Write your slogan
on a card and carry it with you. Repeat it to yourself often
throughout the day. The more you repeat your slogan, the faster
you will change and the sooner the results will show up.
When you concentrate on one slogan until
you accomplish the change you want and then stop repeating that
slogan, sometimes you'll regress back to your old way of thinking,
and the change you accomplished will fade. This is not a failure.
Please remember this. It is only a regression to old habits.
Simply start using the slogan again. The change will come back.
This time, however, keep repeating that slogan even after the
change is accomplished again, for awhile at least, just to make
sure the new habit has really taken hold.
After repeating your slogan for awhile,
it will start to come into your mind automatically when you need
it. You have successfully changed the way you think, which will
change the way you feel and act, which will change the results
you get.
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