This is one of "22 virus definitions" (thought-mistakes that cause ineffectiveness and unnecessary negative emotions).

THIS MISTAKE can go either way. You can take too much responsibility for something or too little. Either one will cause you more distress and discouragement than the circumstances call for. If you blame yourself for something that really wasn't your fault, you feel bad unnecessarily. If you blame someone else for something you were responsible for, you miss out on the opportunity to improve the situation. If you don't take credit for something you could legitimately be proud of, you miss out on personal pride (and it will tend to sap your motivation).

If you are making this mistake in any of these ways, you're probably proud of yourself for it. That will make it harder to admit the thought is a mistake. But go through the process of writing down your thoughts when you are demoralized or upset, and misplacing responsibility is bound to show up as a mistake.

In the antivirus for your mind, we're not trying to be positive. We're trying to be accurate. So if you find you have a thought like, "It's all my fault," you have to really look at that. If it really IS all your fault, you have not made a mistake. But if you look at it honestly and realize it isn't entirely your fault, your distress will fade right on the spot.

This article is part of the series, Antivirus For Your Mind.

Articles and Interviews
Learn about sustaining motivation, improving relationships, relieving depression, improving your health, reducing anxiety, becoming more optimistic, and much more. We've got lots of articles full of useful information.

Immediate Relief
Are you having a difficulty with some aspect of your life lately? Learn something that will help. This will only take a few minutes.

Search For Anything On This Site
You can type in any topic you choose and instantly find all the material on this site on that topic. You can also browse topics on this page.

Self-Help Menu
Would you like to learn how to enjoy your relationships with people more? Do better at work? Feel good more often? Have a better attitude? Check out the self-help menu.

Bite-Size
Check out some easily digestible nibbles of self-help stuff that works, to get you out of a bad mood or into a more effective state of mind in just a few minutes.

Good News
Here's a little page to help you keep your sanity. You can read about recent positive developments, and acts of kindness around the world. It's a good thing to share with others.

Table of Contents
...of Adam Khan's book Self-Help Stuff That Works. From the table of contents, you can click on any chapter and read it here online.

About the Book
Here is a description of Self-Help Stuff That Works and further links about the book.

Self-Help College Course
Anyone from anywhere in the country can participate. Study the book Self-Help Stuff That Works and earn college credit.