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This is one of "22
virus definitions" (thought-mistakes that cause ineffectiveness
and unnecessary negative emotions).
 THIS
IS the same sort of mistake as overcertainty.
When you make a guess, it helps to realize it is just a guess,
especially when your guess is making you feel defeated, demoralized,
or otherwise unhappy. As soon as you realize your negative guess
was just a guess, it takes the power out of it and you stop feeling
bad.
I know a man who is cynical about the president,
the governors, and politicians in general. He is glum often because
he thinks he knows what they’re all after. He's sure they’re
only interested in money and power and they don’t care about
“the people.”
In other words, he is guessing the motivations
of politicians and then he becomes depressed and bitter because
of his guess.
People do that not just about other people,
but about future events. “It’s not going to work out,”
you might hear someone say, and she believes her guess, so she
doesn’t even try. She is guessing what’s going to happen
in the future. She’s making a negative guess and feeling
defeated by it.
Can you see how much differently it would
be to not even not bother to guess but to merely acknowledge
to yourself that you don’t know? If that’s the truth,
if you really don’t know, then just admit it. Not knowing
may make you feel an uncomfortable degree of curiosity or frustration,
but it won’t make you feel demoralized or angry. It won’t
make you want to give up on a goal.
This article is part of the series, Antivirus For Your Mind. |
