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THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES are from the book
Self-Help Stuff That Works.
Choose one principle to practice for now. Pick one you feel would
do you the most good. Write the principle on a card and carry
it with you for a week or so, actively trying to practice that
principle at every opportunity. Then stop practicing it consciously.
The skill or point of view will become available to you when
you need it.
Chapter
84
Relax your muscles and make it your mission to help the other
person feel more comfortable.
Chapter
85
To improve the self-esteem of others:
Give unexaggerated feedback and
help them gain ability.
To improve your own self-esteem:
Change what you do to make
yourself more appreciated by the people around you.
Chapter
86
Direct all complaints to the person who can do something about
it.
Chapter
87
Question and criticize your negative judgements of people.
Chapter
88
As a personal discipline, practice listening well when someone
is talking to you.
Chapter
89
Increase your certainty about how to act.
Chapter
90
Clean up relationships by being honest without judgement.
Chapter 91
Try to make a good first impression.
Chapter
92
Act like a person who is well liked and worthy of respect, even
when you don't feel that way.
Chapter 93
Don't say much when you're angry.
When you complain, say what you want, not
what you don't want.
Chapter
94
To find and keep a good mate:
Pursue your interest and remind yourself: Nobody's perfect and
attraction to others is unimportant.
Chapter
95
Encapsulate your insights into short phrases and repeat them
often.
Chapter
96
Play yourself down.
Chapter
97
Be honest. If it causes conflict, listen well and only say what
is strictly true.
Chapter 98
Practice e-squared now and then: Pay close attention to your
ongoing experience.
Chapter
99
Notice how other people are similar to you.
Chapter 100
Send good wishes to people anytime, anywhere.
Chapter
101
Don't limit yourself by giving yourself a narrow lable.
Chapter
102
Accept the natural conflict between parent and child.
Set standards and enforce them with consequences.
Chapter
103
Influence people by merely suggesting things.
Chapter 104
When you talk to people, think of them as relatives.
Chapter 105
Improve childrens' self-esteem by helping them become more competent.
Chapter 106
Be overly clear with people.
Chapter
107
Imagine yourself looking out from inside another's body.
Chapter
108
Criticize when it first occurs to you, but don't criticize —
ask for what you want.
Chapter
109
Find and cultivate a friendship that centers around your strongest
interest.
Chapter
110
Watch TV only once in awhile.
Chapter
111
Act undefensive when you feel defensive.
Chapter
112
Downplay or overlook what you don't want and enthusiastically
appreciate what you do want.
Chapter
113
When you want acknowledgment for something, tell someone what
you did.
Chapter 114
Relieve self-consciousness by focusing on a purpose.
Chapter
115
Practice having a "poker face" when you feel negative
emotions.
Chapter 116
If you want to be intimate, say what you want and feel.
Chapter 117
Know what you want and speak up about it.
Chapter
118
Say things to yourself you want to be right about.
Chapter 119
Try not to waste too much of your attention on people who bother
you.
Chapter 120
Resist the temptation to flinch.
Chapter 121
To forge mettle:
Remain loyal to your comrades, speak honestly and directly, and
keep your word. |
