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HAPPY PEOPLE HAVE something in common.
It’s not money and it’s not fame. According to researchers
David G. Myers, professor of psychology at
Hope College, and Ed Diener, professor of psychology at the
University of Illinois, happy people are healthier and share
the following four traits:
1. They like themselves.
2. They have a high degree of personal control.
3. They are optimistic.
4. They are extroverts.
THE GOOD NEWS is that none of these
are fixed — each can be cultivated. If you are weak
in any of these four traits, you can become happier by strengthening
it.
Like yourself more by doing better. Improve your ethics — when you stop fudging
on something, you stop beating yourself up for fudging. Increase
your ability — when you are more skilled at something, you
admire yourself more, both for your new ability and for the perseverance
it took to attain it. Treat people better — because we’re
social animals, when we help others like themselves more,
it comes around and helps us like ourselves more too.
Gain more control of your time by directly
seeking it. This includes reading
time-management books and applying what you learn. But keep this
in mind: No matter how good you are, if you keep increasing the
number of pans in the fire, at some point you’ll start to
lose control. Decrease the number of pans until you have good
control. With practice you may be able to increase that number.
But maintain control in the meantime.
Be more optimistic by studying Martin
Seligman’s work and the ATTITUDE section of this book. In his book Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and
Your Life, Seligman outlines the three key areas where a
change will make a difference and shows you exactly how to make
those changes.
Become more extroverted by studying
and practicing the classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by
Dale Carnegie and the PEOPLE
section of this book. It helps
to begin with the supposition that introversion is simply a lack
of ability to deal with people. Then, remedy that lack. Carnegie’s
book is still on the bookshelves after all these years because
it’s the best collection of information about how to deal
with people that has ever been written.
No matter how happy or unhappy you are
now, you can make your life a happier one, and you can do it
one small step at a time.
To become happier:
Strengthen your integrity,
get better control of your time,
become more optimistic,
and practice good human relations.
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