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THE OPPOSITE OF SELF-CONFIDENCE is self-consciousness.
To achieve self-confidence, then, all you need to do is get rid
of your self-consciousness. But how? How do we get our attention
off ourselves? Easy — by putting it somewhere else. And
the easiest way to have your attention on something else is to
have a purpose of some kind.
Let’s see how this works. Let’s
say you’re at a party and you’re feeling self-conscious.
The first question to ask is “Do you have some purpose for
being at the party in the first place?” If you don’t,
a quick and easy way to stop feeling self-conscious would be
to leave the party. But let’s say you do have
a purpose for being there.
Ask yourself, “What’s my purpose
here?” In other words, what do you want? What are
you trying to accomplish? What are you after? Take a few moments
and think about it. Would you like to make business contacts?
Do you want to entertain people? Do you need information from
somebody? Do you want to help bring people together? Do you want
to meet someone? The question is: What is your aim or intention?
If you don’t have any purpose for being there, either go
somewhere where you do have a purpose or make up some
purpose. For example, during the course of the evening your purpose
could be to find someone who knows where you can get a good math
tutor for your child.
In a place I used to work, we had stretches
of time with nothing to do, yet we had to be there. It left me
with no purpose. So I made up purposes or made the situation
serve other purposes of mine. Some of the employees spoke more
Spanish than English, and I wanted to learn Spanish, so in the
dead times, I’d teach them English and they’d teach
me Spanish. Other times I needed new ideas for a project I was
working on at home, and I asked my coworkers to help me, which
they were glad to do.
Accomplish a goal. Make up a goal if you
have to. Do you want to get rid of your self-consciousness? Put
your attention on an aim. To have self-confidence, have a purpose.
It’s that simple.
Relieve self-consciousness
by focusing on a purpose.
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