IF YOU WANT TO FEEL BETTER, don't concern
yourself with trying to feel good directly. Do things
that make you feel good. Some actions make you feel good. Some
make you feel bad. To successfully change your feelings, think
in terms of action. Feelings are a result. They can't
be sought out directly.
Wanting to feel good produces bad feelings. What actions produce good
As I'm writing this, it is a warm summer
afternoon. The sun is shining on me and I feel sleepy. I don't
have anywhere to go in the next couple hours. Taking a nap
is an action that would produce good feelings.
We're talking here about a very subtle
difference the difference between wanting to feel good
OR focusing your attention on actions that will produce good
Feelings are an effect. It doesn't work
to focus on an effect. You must focus on the cause that
produces the effect, just as you wouldn't rub your arms to make
them strong. If you want strong arms, putting your attention
on your arms won't get you there. The place to put your attention
is on the actions that will produce strong muscles.
Do pushups for example. Focus on actions. Focus on the cause,
not the effect.
I see people making this mistake all the
time with their attitude. People want to be "positive,"
which is a perfectly good thing to want, but simply wanting to
feel positive doesn't work at all. I tell these people to concentrate
on one action that will result in feeling positive. It
could be a physical action like exercising or meditating, or
it could be a mental action like thinking of all the things they
did today they're glad they did. But the focus is on action.
That's what works.
Focus on actions that
will produce good feelings.