why ask why

home

search

article menu

featured article
about us moodraiser blog

contact us

This article was excerpted from the book, Principles For Personal Growth by Adam Khan. Buy it now here.

A QUESTION THAT NATURALLY comes to mind when something goes wrong is “Why?” But it’s a question fraught with danger. Research has repeatedly shown that the human brain is designed to answer a question with whatever knowledge it has (no matter how little) and come up with a plausible answer (however wrong). Self-blame or victimhood is a frequent side effect.

For example, you can ask why you’re overweight and, without any problem at all, your mind will come up with answers. But all it can give you are theories. What’s the “real” answer? Is it because you weren’t loved as a child? Is it a genetic weakness in your family? Is it an evolutionary holdover precaution against famine? Is your mouth simply bored?

The problem with a WHY question is that you get too many answers you can do nothing about. You can’t change your childhood or a genetic weakness.

There is only one good thing about asking WHY: It can be entertaining. It’s intriguing. It’s like a mystery and mysteries capture our attention like nothing else. But if what you want is to handle the situation well or solve the problem and get on with the business of living, ask HOW not WHY. It’s more efficient.

Since your mind will try to answer any question you put to it, the kind of question you ask makes a big difference. So ask what you really want to know: “How could I get slimmer?” Or “How can I avoid this problem in the future?” Or “How can I solve this problem now?” Or “How can I make things a little better?” Let your mind go wild on one of those questions. The answers will be more productive.

With HOW, you go straight for a useful answer. You avoid getting sidetracked into what can become an endless search for “understanding.” With HOW your answers lead to actions. And it is actions that solve problems and produce real change.

 

Instead of asking why you have a problem, ask how you can get what you want.

This article was excerpted from the book, Principles For Personal Growth by Adam Khan. Buy it now here.

now learn how you can get what you want most effectively

Author: Adam Khan
author of the books, Self-Help Stuff That Works and Antivirus For Your Mind
and creator of the blog:
Moodraiser
Articles and Interviews
Learn about sustaining motivation, improving relationships, relieving depression, improving your health, reducing anxiety, becoming more optimistic, enjoying a better mood more often, earning more money, expanding your creativity, making better decisions, resolving conflicts, and much more.

Self-Help Menu
Want to learn to enjoy your relationships with people more? Do better at work? Feel good more often? Have a better attitude? Use the self-help menu.

Facebook and Twitter
We post on Facebook and Twitter a few times a week, focusing on helping you feel good more often.

Search For Anything On YMW
Type in any topic and find all the material on YouMe Works on that topic. You can also browse topics on this page.

Subscribe to Moodraiser
Get articles delivered to your email inbox free. Learn simple methods for lifting your general feeling of well-being right away, and improving your mood over time.

.

Google
 

Explore This Site | Immediate Relief | Bite Size | Home | Contact
Copyright © 2001-2099 -
YouMe Works Publications - All rights reserved.